Cunegonde and Madame Essay

Our indemnity at SMAR weighING is non to correct or edit savant compose. operative from higher(prenominal)- to lower-order concerns, we transferer t several(prenominal)lying points and, on a limited basis, model possible revisions. We distinguish that we tricknot luck with e actually question, trouble, or error in a cover, so we range our time accordingly. 2. In this charabancing simulation, you should provide revision advice to the adjacent sample student quiz. This student is responding to a literary analysis assign exploit forcet. satisfy necessitate the Writer meekness year (below) and respond to the essay in approximately 30 MINUTES.3. enjoy reconstruct substantive com ferment forcets close higher order concerns (e. g. , strengths, dissertation, development, organization) in the tutor response form that follows the essay. Provide feedback for Strengths of the Paper, 3 of the 9 Points (argonas of assistance), and Summary of coterminous Steps. 4. Pl go e mbed in the bole of the students essay approximately five comments about round of the major higher-order and lower-order concerns (e. g. , grammar and mechanics) you noted in the essay. Please embed these comments in bold and brackets. 5. At the end of each simulation, enthral log your time for end each tutorial.Writer Submission Form Name Bob King instructor Professor Hart De unwrapment English Course English two hundred BRIEFLY DESCRIBE THE ASSIGNMENT Write an analytical essay (3-4 pages in length). You atomic number 18 to analyze the argument of any exertion read in Module1 and relate it to the idea of the progress of humanity. Then, re aver the works thesis and explain how that thesis is argued and with what evidence it is back up. You must analyze the position defended in the work and offer your own judgment on it. WHAT HELP DO YOU postulate FROM YOUR OWL TUTOR? Hi I engage a lot of help with my main(prenominal) idea. And I need to dissipate my paper a lot.Basical ly, I fatality to say that women hampered men in Candide beca engage when men fall in love it ca calls puzzles. I dont very know if I am answering the question or not the whole thing sort of conf habituates me. I dont know if my argument is clear please help with that. And please help me expand my paper. I need to get to 4 pages and I dont know how to dupe it longer. I look at this whole assignment is sincerely pretty stupid. And my teacher is so picky. So, I middling need ecumenical help. Voltaires Men and Women In Candidate, a satire written by Voltaire, women hampered the progress of men. Their love for women ca wasting disease men their hardships.Cunegonde and Madame de Parolignac impeded Candide and Paquette plagued Pangloss. An example of women clogging mens progress is seen when Candids yearning for Miss Cunegonde leads to a atomic number 50dy kiss surrounded by the two. The result of this kiss was Candide being kicked out of his home, thus, beginning his hards hips. It would be bettor if you amounted a signal phrase before your quotations and broke them down. However, if you want to use an entire block quotation, you should indent the entire quotation akin so Candide, ejected from the earthly paradise, wandered for a long time without knowing where he was going, weeping.raising his tendernesss to heaven, and gazing back frequently on the most dishy of castles which contained the most beautiful of Barons daughter. (Voltaire 3) Pangloss, like Candide, experienced several misfortunes because of his being sexually attracted to women, namely wizard women woman, singular, dont kibosh to assure your work Paquette. She used her charm and sex appeal to attract Pangloss. brace with Paquette contaminated Pangloss with a societal disease which led him to become disfigured, losing an eye and the tip of his nose.In her arms I tasted the delights of paradise, which directly caused these torments of hell, from which I am now suffering (V-8). I am assuming you atomic number 18 using MLA in-text citation, this is incorrect, all maintain the name-page format or clean use the page for posterior citations. i. e. just (8) Candide was also attracted to other women besides Cunegonde who caused him to digress Digress from what? You should rethink your intelligence service choices. One of these women was Madame de Parolignac. aft(prenominal) Candide returned from Eldorado where he had attained wealth, he met Madaem de Parolignac and was sexually attracted to her.Madame de Parolignac on the other hand was attracted to Candides diamonds and she used sex to conduct them into her ownership. the beauty who had seen two enormous diamonds on the two hands of her coachboyish friend, praised them so sincerely that from the fingers of Candide they passed over to the fingers of the marquise. (V-53) Women bugger off caused men to compromise their homes, m unmatchedy, and come upness as is the case with Candide and Pangloss for lov ing them thus causation impeding upon mens progress, especially that of Candide and Pangloss.This is instead redundant. You should addle a short culmination regarding the work first, restating your thesis, then expand into the larger context of men in general TUTOR RESPONSE FORM Hi (writers name). Ive read your paper and here atomic number 18 some(prenominal) points you mightiness want to think about as you revise your paper. STRENGTHS OF THE musical theme You are headed in the reclaim direction. You necessitate isolated your thesis you stated that the theme in Voltaires work is that women impede the progress of men and make them miserable.This is a full(a) starting point. You also feed a well-grounded grasp of the mental ability of the reference text from what I basin see because you form galore(postnominal) a(prenominal) good examples to further your point. POINTS TO THINK ABOUT AS YOU REVISE YOUR PAPER Tutor Choose 3 Main idea/Thesis You get hold of only answe red champion of the prompts in the assignment. First, you should state the main idea in the reference work and its signifi peckce to humanity in this case, for example, the significance is that the superficial battle of the sexes hinders progress.Then, you state how this main idea was supported this is when you bring out your excellent examples from the text. Next, you have to dampen your own judgment on the matter whether you agree or disagree with what Voltaire was trying to say with his work. Although you have a solid luxuriant thesis, it is rather sensation-dimensional, so this part is where you get to expand that idea and give your own input. One example is that preferably of focusing on how the innocent presence of the women ruined these men, you could discuss how the men allowed themselves to be so easy hold ind by the women.Another suggestion is to give a lesson one can take away from the work, something like how if men and women cease trying to manipulate each othe r all the time, such sexuality- base degradation of society could be avoided. Quotations -As I have noted in your draft, your quotations need a particular work. You should review your formatting guidelines when it comes to in-text citation, especially subsequent citations of the same work. Further more than, while your quotations are well chosen, it is not a very good idea to just place them in your work without much context.Not only is it unattractive, it disrupts the flow rate of your paper. It is surmount to add a signal phrase before the quotation, such as Regarding his affliction, Pangloss said .. The more seamlessly you can integrate your quotes (remember, it has to make sense), the better. A good idea is to paraphrase the quotes and add just the vital part into your reprobate. Introduction/Conclusion -Your entranceway needs to be extended. You should introduce the work you are discussing, give a little background information on it.Assume that the lecturer is only vagu ely familiar with the work so, in the introduction, you can give a summary of the satire. To extend this even more, you can save the summary for the second divide of the paper and begin the introduction with a tangential discussion of the age-old battle of the sexes such as common opinions, implications, etc. before leading to Voltaires work and idea. After you state your understanding of Voltaires piece, you should try to integrate your opinion into your thesis statement. Whichever way you decide, the thesis of your paper should be clearly recognizable in your introduction.As for your conclusion, you should briefly and clearly restate your thesis and your most material points. You can end with a generalization of the implications of the work such as an answer to Now that you are aware of the problem stated in the work, what can you do about it? Summary of next steps (E-structor let student know what he/she should consider when revise this essay. ) Your main problem is that you are having trouble extending the paper to 4 pages. However, since you have only answered one of the questions in the prompt, answering all the other questions will no head help you reach your goal.Remember Voltaires main idea, its significance to humanity, how it was supported in the text (citations), and what you think about it (yay or nay? ) and why. stage your introduction and conclusion better you start by easing your reader to better accept your ideas and you end by wrapping up your major points and giving your reader something to think about. Lastly, do not forget to see your paper, I have found some errors regarding word choice as well as the errors regarding the in-text citations. You are on the right track, you just need to explore your original ideas a little further, and form an opinion on the subject.Completion cartridge holder Simulation B Directions 1. Our policy at SMARTHINKING is not to correct or edit student writing. Working from higher- to lower-order concern s, we offer article of belief points and, on a limited basis, model potential revisions. We know that we cannot deal with every question, problem, or error in a paper, so we prioritize our time accordingly. 2. In this tutoring simulation, you should provide revision advice to the following sample student essay. This student is responding to a prompt to write about how figurers affect students and teachers, based on classroom discussions and homework readings.Please read the Writer Submission Form (below) and respond to the essay in approximately 30 MINUTES. 3. Please make substantive comments about higher order concerns (e. g. , strengths, thesis, development, organization) in the tutor response form that follows the essay. Provide feedback for Strengths of the Paper, 3 of the 9 Points (areas of assistance), and Summary of Next Steps. 4. Please embed in the body of the students essay approximately five comments about some of the major higher-order and lower-order concerns (e. g. , grammar and mechanics) you noted in the essay.Please embed these comments in bold and brackets. 5. At the end of each simulation, please log your time for completing each tutorial. Writer Submission Form Name Ana Nasif Instructor Professor Lynn Department English Course ESOL 052 imputable 1 week BRIEFLY DESCRIBE THE ASSIGNMENT In the past tense two weeks, we have read and discussed 3 articles that presented very favorable views of how computers can be used in education. Now think about the readings, and about your own experiences and observations, and write an essay that suggests some ways in which the use of computers can create problems for teachers and students.Your essay must follow the plan presented in the handout Form for an Essay. To achieve the analyzableity of thought expected in ESOL 052, your body carve ups will probably have to contain seven or eight sentences each. All essays must be typed and double-spaced. WHAT HELP DO YOU WANT FROM YOUR OWL TUTOR? Please help me be sure that my text file is written the way my teacher is asking. Do I have complex thoughts? Are my paragraphs full enough. Is my English ok? ESOL 052 PAPER 3 Ana Nasif ESOL 052 16 April, 2001 COMPUTERS PROBLEMS IN EDUCATIONComputers, wonderful invention, are creating problems now. Please proofread your paper, most of your sentences have grammar problems. Like this first one, the main problem is that they are not complete sentences Computers are causing problems in education because of their use in different ways un-even use, use of computer games, use of the internet. Computers are useful and advanced technology of this century, but they are producing one-third main problems in the field of education. The most important problem is the gap between the educational standard of students.Another problem is that computers have diverted the melodic theme of children and young people. The other problem is the danger of no colleges or schools in the future. In this essay I will disc uss these problems, and suggest how they can be solved. You need a stronger thesis, try to incorporate all three points into one main thesis. Such as Despite the many advantages of computers, three main problems in the field of education can be attributed to computer use creating an educational gap between students, diverting the minds of young people, and causing actual schools to become obsolete in the future. As the education by computers is not available to all students of cities and towns, so it creates a gap of movement between students of the same country. The problem in not only at the schools, but also at the colleges and universities. Students of small colleges do not have the facility of computers Do you mean they do not have the funding to have good computer facilities? Again, awkward word choices. , so they face difficulties in their study. However, the students having the access of computers can get reliable information about their subjects easily.When the students c ome forward in any competitive test or examination, the difference creates a big problem for them. Blind and visually impaired students are futile to use a computer without a special equipment. The equipment is expensive and everyone cannot buckle under it. It may be creating a sense of inferiority complex. Computerized video games are very popular among the children and young people now. They play these games for several hours in a week, so wasting their valuable time. Because of the intensive interest they do not pay full attention to their study.They cannot concentrate well at schools or colleges, so their ability, test scores and grades are gradually decreasing. As they became less active, so they are not physically fit as other of the same age hardly a(prenominal) decades before. Some colleges are providing few courses to their students at homes on the internet now. There is a prediction of no colleges, universities and no more schools in the next century. It is the fact tha t the first school of child is his/her home, but the education of a school is mandatory. Computers cannot solve the radical problems of the students at schools.In school, besides the better education students also cop social ways of life work in groups, manners of communication, record with other fellows, and various rules and regulations. These things help them in the practical life. The teaching of students courtly in years. I suggest that these problems can be solved with broad efforts. Word choice problem. In this context, i think you mean effort not efforts. Such as when when you mean schoolwork, you should use their studies instead of their study The use of computers in education should be equal to all students.The students should be cause toward their study and advised to play for the short time after completing their homework. I also suggest that parents should supervise their young children, who are reflexion program on the internet, because it provides a wide range of program on crimes and sex. In my view a school or college education is more helpful for students, as their difficulties of various subjects cannot be solved at homes. End with a good conclusion that restates your thesis and wraps up your main points.You could add a comment on how people should consider the injurys as well as the advantages of excessive computer use. TUTOR RESPONSE FORM Hi (writers name). Ive read your paper and here are some points you might want to think about as you revise your paper. STRENGTHS OF THE PAPER You make some good points in your paper. Your three main disadvantages are effectual and they do answer the prompt given by your teacher. Your basic anatomical structure is solid introduction with thesis, the three different disadvantages in separate paragraphs, conclusion. POINTS TO THINK ABOUT AS YOU REVISE YOUR PAPER Tutor Choose 3Paragraph amity -You make many good points in each of your paragraphs. However, the flow of ideas inside each paragraph n eed some work. Instead of writing an easy-flowing paragraph with a single idea, your paragraphs seem like you are simply checking off different ideas from a list and putting them together in paragraph form. Each sentence in a paragraph should relate to the one before it and the one after it they should flow. For each of the body paragraphs, you should start with a paper statement, follow with supporting statements, and conclude.If you have many different ideas, it is best to actually list them out, using words like first, secondly, furthermore, also, lastly. You could also make use of transition words such as However, in contrast, whereas, etc. for related but contrasting ideas. Transitions -I noticed that you did not try to ease the transitions between your paragraphs. Your essay should flow freely and not jump from one idea to another. Because you deal with three different ideas for each of your essays, one thing you can do is start each paragraph by stating the disadvantage th e paragraph is talking about.For example 2nd paragraph, Because computers can be very helpful when applied to education, an imbalance is created between those who can afford to use computers in their studies and those who cannot 3rd paragraph, Next, because computers offer so much in the part of entertainment beside school help, they could become large distractions instead of being great helps 4th paragraph, Lastly, with the rise of computer use and online courses, traditional schools may fell someday. These are just suggestions, but each sentence introduces the new topic as a continuation of the previous discussion.Sentence Structure -The sentence structures in your paper need some work. Though you do have some grammar issues, the main problem is that your sentences are too awkward. Most of the problem lies in the word choices, such as the use of facilities of computers and access of computers instead of computer facilities and computer access, respectively. You should try to r ead your sentences aloud and listen to yourself if some sentences sound halting and awkward, change them. It would be better, however, to consult a writing clinic or have someone to listen to you read your paper.Summary of next steps (E-structor let student know what he/she should consider when revising this essay. ) The main problems with the essay are the grammar and the sentence construction. However, those are just sentence structure issues that you can work on as you proofread, whereas the ideas are solid. You need to work on the flow of your ideas. The paragraphs should make sense as your reader moves from one paragraph to another. Within the paragraph, you should work at letting your ideas flow better with each other.They should all make sense together, instead of being just different sentences with related ideas. One thing you can do to make your essay more personal, and to fill in the gaps between different ideas is to add personal insights and experience in the paper. Fro m the prompt, I understand that your experiences as well as your class work and lessons are valid sources. You should draw on these ideas to make your professor know you participate in class. Also, because your introduction is rather awkward, instead of just saying Computers, wonderful invention, are creating problems now. You could begin by saying Computers have changed many things in our everyday lives. Many of those changes have been advantageous. For example, You can begin with some of the advantages of computer use that you learned in class. Then you can say Despite all these advantages of computers, however, the increasing occasion that computers play in peoples lives also have disadvantages. Remember, your good ideas will not reach the reader if he is bombarded with too many of them like a list improve the flow of your essay. Completion Time